It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
