@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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