As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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