I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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