Redeem this text for a blowjob
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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