I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
