Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
