Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
