I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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