Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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