So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
