All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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