yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
