hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Someone signed my nipple.
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