Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
