Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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