How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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