oh god the rape fog is back!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
