By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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