i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
This baby is an asshole
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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