You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
