I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
