Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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