I think I am morally bankrupt
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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