Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
