"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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