Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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