Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
