Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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