so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
