Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
