Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
