Whod you bang
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
