oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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