We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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