I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
