Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
