He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
