respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
