Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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