thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
