He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
