he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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