Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
