he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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