sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
