i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
