I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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