How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
