how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
