You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my vag is so smooth its legendary
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
