Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
