also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
